November

A new semester is going to start,what is instore for me? I have no plans for All Souls Day but i was guided to light a candle for the soul of my dearly beloved. I am numb no tears to shed anymore but my son said, i feel like crying to know that grandma and grandpa are already gone.He understand after all what is like to lose someone you love. I told him when mom will die somebody will love you more than i do, It's God and don't be sad when i i am gone because i will be with God.With God there is no hunger and pain.Is that what's heaven is like Mommy? Yes.I hope my son will keep that faith in his heart.

Christmas is still two months away but i decided to start wrapping gifts for abused children.I need not money to do that,my son has outgrown a lot of things.I know i am not doing this orphans a favor but thay are the one who will make a difference in my life. Making them happy can heal my broken heart,they will teach me to detach myself from material things and open my heart instead.

First Semester

Time flies so fast, it's been 5 months and a lot happen when the school year started.Increase school tuition and bus fees (nothing is new), work and work and work but then again money is not everything,you think you can have it all but in can be taken away from you in an instant. I was burned out for my son's birthday and it did not stop there,the annual theater play and halloween made me so drain as well, i made young souls happy but in one semester what did it do to me?

It's a responsibility to provide the needs of children, it is suppose to be cherishing precious moments shared with them but when you strive so hard to pay for their happiness while you are also struggling with relationships around you..doing sacrifices..getting hurt..letting go, i am not sure if i already lost myself or not.

I think God does not like me to forget what my heart should desire. When i feel like I lost everything,God embraces me in so many surprising ways, His spirit, a friend i once help but is now helping me and possibilities as well. Quiet times with my son and doing nothing is also a priceless experience, that is when you don't compete with time,you don't rush,you don't go after money.

It can be scary sometimes to think about tomorrow's challenges but semestral break ends and believe new hope begins.